I am about to graduate from three years of media studies. The convocation ceremony is in a few days and I am more worried about the family gathering afterwards. During the "congratulations" party I can assure you that every Aunty and Uncle in the room would want to know my future plan. They would ask subtly but their intention will always be loud and clear. Their hearts desire to know what's next because its fun to be nosy. I do that sometimes. There is only two answers that is universally acceptable; continue studies or continue working-with-the-company-that-took-me-in-for-internship? I toss and turn at night wondering what answers I should say to not sound like a total loser. Honestly could I toss both options aside and venture as a freelancer? Be my own boss with ambitions, goals and projects.
In my family there is no such person; freelancer - by definition a person who has no steady income.LE LOSER. I actually have no idea how some of my uncles and aunties make their buck but they sure as hell never want to be labelled "freelancer". I've seen the fun uncles who make trips to South Africa, then Japan and his occasional trips to Thailand. We hardly see him at family gatherings. I believed he socially died and became an outcast. I fear that the most. Well, not really but...its sort of taking a big gamble on all things you've used to for the unknown. Feels scary, would you please hold my hand?
Sometimes I don't sleep because I am thinking about what my friends are doing in their perfect princess worlds? Everyone is either jobless or wearing snazzy branded outfits (as seen in Instagram) Where do I fit in? I am hardly jobless nor living in the fast lane right now. I am really keen in pursuing a career in journalism. I want to be able to be skill full in new media, broadcasting, radio, social media, media law and writing in general. I want to make a living by being actively in social entrepreneurship that would benefit the community and better myself as a person.
I really want so much in life.
The other day I was thinking about sitting down with my mother and just telling her how I feel inside but it doesn't feel right yet. I don't want her to worry this child of hers who is so messed up. As long as I tell her my future goals, speak respectfully and be considerate when necessary, I think everything will be alright. My parents and I are often NOT on the same page but that's no problem . Sometimes there will be argument but right now I need to keep strong and just keep searching.
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